Grace in the Hotel Bar, Grace at the Party

By LTC Peter E. Bauer MS USAR

The Westin Peachtree Hotel in Atlanta is a beautiful space. I recently spent three days there attending this year’s conference for the International Society for Traumatic Stress Studies (ISTSS). The hotel feels safe like a bunker or a fortress accented by lovely fauna and floral displays and striking wall hangings.

The conference was a real treat. I heard spectacular presentations by many world renowned researchers and clinicians regarding the treatment of trauma, including combat trauma. I got a chance to get see some old friends and meet and get acquainted with some new friends.

Thursday afternoon I went down to the hotel bar to meet a new friend for dinner. I must admit the space for this hotel bar was soothing, lots of beautiful paintings, and art work, indirect lighting, and a great jazz ensemble were playing in the background. As I walked into the space, I saw a woman walking towards me looking distressed. She saw me in the Army ACU uniform, walked up to me, hugged me and proceeded to burst into tears.

I looked at her and said, “What’s wrong?” She responded, “Have you heard about what happened at Fort Hood today?” I replied no.

She proceeded to tell me about the shooting of the soldiers and civilians. “I feel so helpless,” she said. “I wish I could be there to help them.”

This almost felt like when Mary says to Jesus, “If you had been here, my brother Lazarus would not have died.” When we are suffering and experiencing pain and loss, we want immediate answers to realities that sometimes can become intangible.

I felt numb. We talked for a few minutes. I called my friend George, an Army Chaplain and Episcopal priest, to see if he was OK. I then called his wife Lynn and guided her regarding a Critical Incident Stress Debrief that she was to facilitate that evening at St. Christopher’s Episcopal Church in Kileen, Texas. I called my boss to see if we would send anyone from our program, the Army Reserve Warrior and Family Assistance Center, to help out.

I must admit it felt surreal. I was on the phone for over two hours. No time for a drink, not even for a Starbucks coffee. I then sat down in a nice chair talking to a friend and looking at a nice batik painting, and I thought, “If you are dealing with human misery, it’s nice to be in beautiful surroundings.” I don’t know if Jesus experienced a lot of beautiful surroundings when he was in the midst of providing intense ministry, maybe the Sea of Galilee, maybe the Garden of Gethsemane. All I know was that I was feeling exhausted with all of my energy being focused on helping the folks at Fort Hood and I felt grateful to be in a beautiful space with friends.

Later that evening I received two e-mails from Tricia. One described her shock and concern regarding the tragedy at Fort Hood, “When I heard about this, I thought about you right away.” Within a minute, I received another message and this one read, “Sometimes clergy need a priest. I am here and available for you. Call me if you want to talk.”

I burst into tears. This was the first moment that I had an opportunity to consider how I was doing. I felt a lot of gratitude and felt truly blessed by Tricia’s message of love and concern. I will always remember it.

The last night of the conference featured a nice buffet of salads, pasta and other dishes. There was a jazz band playing. I stood in line to get some pasta and struck up a conversation with a film maker who was doing a piece regarding trauma. She must have sensed that I was feeling upset, because she abruptly massaged my shoulders. Her touch felt very comforting and compassionate. I realized once again that when we least expect it God comes to meet us in our confusion, in our loneliness, in our pain and even in our despair.

Here we were waiting in line for gourmet pasta and bread, what an image for the heavenly Eschatological banquet. For me, it is in these experiences of love and support, of great food and comfort and companionship that God’s grace becomes so powerfully real. Jesus seeks us out when we least expect it, in a hotel bar and in a hotel banquet room. Jesus comes to bless us with a hug and tears and with the loving touch of a shoulder massage.

May we be open to the grace that is around us, that we see in lives of other people and most important, may we see the grace of God extended to us in our lives this day and always in Jesus’ Name.
Blessings